I have been sexual abused more than once by different people. Not sure if it was my fault or not. Not even sure if most people consider it sexual abuse. Not many people consider it sexual abuse because I never said “no” or really stopped it from happening and I am a guy. It started when I was 14 with a 18 year old camp counselor. Different guys have come on to me, tried stuff and done stuff over the years. For some reason when I panic and I am really terrified I don’t move, I can’t actually. Not only that but I have trouble speaking. I become almost completely paralyzed. I feel like a used machine for a person sexual desire. Every single time it happened and every single person’s face still haunts me. The last time it happened was this January. It was with (what I thought was) a friend. He tried to become so close to me and he pretend he really cared for me. It was the worst of all of the them. I still get sick just thinking about that night.