I imagine what life would be like if I hadn’t given up on you and just settled for her 3 years ago. Her and I didn’t even last 6 months. Throughout those 3 years I have never let my affection for you die and with each year you only become more beautiful. Every time we actually keep our mutual plans I just want to try to kiss you again like I did those 3 long years ago and each time I lock up and start to feel like the world will end before I ever get to taste your glory. When you look at me I know you know. When you give me those big sad eyes I literally want to do anything in my immediate power to make them glisten with the glaze of delight they normally shine with. You’ll be gone in August and my worst fear is that our paths will never cross again. I just wish that all the sexual tension around our “friendship” could be broken with that kiss I never received and that you would actually admit that I’m your “One that got away” as well. If you read this like I know at some point you will. I just want you to reach out to me in anyway and end my seemingly eternal hate of myself. All for messing up what seemed to be my one true chance at spending anywhere from a week to a few years with my hand clasped tightly in yours. Even if it’s only for one single second, I just need this. If it never comes or I’m mistaken and you don’t feel the same just know that my admiration and this soft heart of mine will always hold you in the highest regards. I’m right here, waiting.
