sometimes I think about killing myself just too see who would actually care if I was gone. The main thing that stops me is the fact that I may not have a way of knowing who's affected once I am actually gone, not the act itself, and that scares me the most
i don't know how or why i put up with your bullshit. every time i say nothing and i do nothing and i just let you do it again and again and you think its ok because of my tolerance. i wish more than anything that i could walk away and not regret it but i would because i love you and thats all i see when you do those things to me
you have no idea how happy you make me. no idea at all. i know i don't make you happy in the same way and that breaks my heart. i sometimes hope that someday i'll find someone who'll love me like i love them, to feel the same way. i don't want that somebody to be anybody but you, because i can't imagine feeling like this about someone else.
i go to church every sunday and im supposed to believe in God. But he's never done anything for me. when i was going through depression i was still alone. when i couldn't decide anything for myself i never had any guidance. Is he really supposed to care about me...was i a mistake?
You're abnoxious and fugly. What makes you think, that just because you're one step higher than being fat and odd-looking than before, you're that good? That's just sad, actually. I feel sad for you, and the loser you've become. You hide in a facade and a false belief that you're damn good in all that you do. Sucks to be you!
I am 20 and my parents are just under 50. Two summers ago I had an affair with a man older than my father. Since last summer I've been dating a guy still closer in age to them than me. My parents don't know a thing. I've had the best orgasms of my life with him.
Sometimes, I hate you so much I feel like I'm going to explode. You are a liar, and a hypocrit, and a bitch. The problem is I love you too much to be away from you, even for just a few hours. I can't cope without you as my best friend.
im a diabetic and i know i struggle with diabulimia. but that doesnt mean i can stop. iv tried to get help with my doctor and with a councilor.. but neither took me seriously. im really worried about my body. i used to struggle with bullimia but managed to stop. this is a bit harder to give up because it so easy. i cant tell my friends because they do not understand at all.. they all get angry at me for not looking after myself...because they care. and i cant deal with that pressure.
I have come to the hardest realization of my life today, and after 3 years of heroin usage, I realized the girl I love is worth more to me than drugs. I'm going to rehab, and I plan on proposing when I'm released.
The Only girl I Love is thousands of miles away from me right now. I read her Tweets and always felt better knowing that she's ok. I sent her a casual message today about her latest tweet, trying to start up conversation. She now protected her tweets...
School reopened today. I thought I got over you, but when I saw you walking at the school hallway, all my feelings for you rushed back. I dont wish for us to get back together again, but I wish we were at least friends so I dont have to bear all this pain anymore.
I really miss the early days of our re-acquaintance. I'd wake up to emails, sometimes funny, sometimes sad or thought provoking. There were gmail chat posts where you said you wished I was there at that time, and I would have been too, except for the 3 hour time difference in our lives. I guess I really miss the intensity. Of finding mails and posts at all hours and always something when I would log in. We still chat nearly every night. I'm still emailing you my thoughts and funnies that I think will make you smile, and music I want to share with you. I don't remember when the last time was you replied to anything I've sent. Even just to acknowledge that you liked it, or even got it. Sometimes I have to ASK..did you get it? What did you think? Just because we talk often, doesn't mean that I want to be sending things into a "Supermassive Blackhole." I can't talk to you about this, because I don't want to piss you off. So maybe I'll follow your lead and stop sending my heart to you in emails. But I'll miss it. Desperately. I haven't even lost you yet. I feel like I've lost SOMETHING, like you've settled. But those replies you used to send me at all hours, the txt msgs telling me where you were when, thinking of me, all of that. I loved that. I just wanted you to know.
Today is my birthday: It's my second birthday being spent in Iraq in the past three years. I didn't tell anyone, I don't want to hear the words "Happy Birthday". I'm feeling so down that I don't even think I want anyone to say anything to me today.
I don't realise how difficult this actually is until I sit and think about it. I have no idea how I cope with with the situation. Nobody fully understands what I have to go through, but neither do you because it's all alright for you. Not completely alright, but you don't find it as difficult as I do. Not even close. But I really wish you did, because then you'd experience the hell and the heartache and maybe even understand.
I have a boyfriend that I've been going out with for a year, who lives in England. I live in the United States. We met online through a site called deviantART, and started getting to know each other through chat. Through deviantART, I've become a part of a community and have made friends that I'd never thought I'd even talk to outside of the internet. That is a seperate life. No one outside of my internet life, besides my mom, knows about my friends or boyfriend. Everyone thinks I'm the same, single, normal girl. But I'm not. They don't know the real me. Who I am. And the ones who do, the ones who I'm desperate to meet, are borders, states, continents, oceans away. But one day... one day, I will meet them all, and my secret won't be a secret anymore. One day I'll gain the confidence to tell everyone outside of my internet life who I really am, and who I am not. One day. When I am ready.
every secret makes me more scared that you have typed it. I love you crazy amounts, I mean it when I say forever and always. I hope you still feel the same. I really do. It kills me to know you might not love me as much as you did.